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TPF Shorts 4.20.2013........The Playing Field Blog making a comeback? Soon enough...

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Wrestlemania X8

What's up, Playing Fielders!  This is nWo emissary Alan Trehern here, and I want to take a little walk down memory lane.  More like a HARDCOOOORE walk down memory PAIN!!

I wanted to completely review a pretty famous Wrestlemania from 10 years ago: WRESTLEMANIA X8.  But as I watched through the matches, and the butt-loads of championship belts that were on the line (Intercontinental, European, Inner-Suburbs of Detroit, etc), I realized that I'll leave the match-by-match reviews to the IWC [1] and 900-pound YouTube personalities (SUMMER OF DERPA DUUURRRRHHH!!!)

WMX8 is famous for one match and one match only: Hulk Hogan versus the Rock.  It was huge and it was in Canada, where the wrestling fans go apesh*t.  It's a hella good match, and the ridiculousness of these two personalities clashing parallels what is actually going on with the Rock versus John Cena.  Of course, Cena is the Rock in this scenario, and Dwayne is the Hulkster...but instead of being evil, the Rock is kinda a douche.  Maybe after Cena woops his ass, Rock will see his douche-self and come back to the WWE full-time like Hulkamania did.

**checks Dwayne's tax return**

Nahhh...that's not happening.

Scott Hall vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin

Before I get to the ridiculous match that inspired this post, let me pit-stop at the Stone Cold Steve Austin versus Scott Hall match that I was excited to see, and then let down to experience.  Scott Hall, I guess, wasn't the best of the wrestling crop in the early 2000s; Stone Cold stunned him a total 56 times, and I don't think Hall made one offensive move.  I always felt bad at DestiGeddon that Hall rarely finished any of his moves, but now I see where he was training: under the boot of the Rattlesnake.

The Stunners in this match reached divine proportions.  If God was a fan of Stone Cold (which I'm sure He is), he'd probably cite this match as the one that heavily displayed the Stone Cold Stunner.  Hall, though, Stuns as well, never whipping out the Outsider's Edge or anything.  And Kevin Nash was there.  Boooo! (Sorry, Kev.  Much love.)

The Hardcore Championship

But the real take-away match here was for the Hardcore Championship match between Goldust and some joker named Maven [?].  First of all, the belt they're fighting for can be challenged anytime of the day, 24/7, as long as you have a ref following you around, I surmise.  So after a pretty good match, outta nowhere there's a pin, and the champ leaves.  Then in the parking lot, ANOTHER pin!  I'm serious!  Anytime, anyplace, this belt is up for grabs!!!

So, you're getting a Big Gulp, then BAM!!  Slim Jim to the face!!  Macho Man is the Hardcore Champ!!

Taking a leak at a rest stop somewhere in Montana, SKA-BOOOOOSH!!  Outta nowhere Andre the Giant busts down the stall and small packages you on that moist, sandy floor!  You've lost the belt!!

If this belt isn't brought back into the fold immediately, WWE, I'm contacting Otunga for the rights to this gold.  It MUST be brought to DG [2]!

[1] Internet Wrestling Community.
[2] Generation 12 of DestiGeddon coming soon!


Panther Joe said...

Wait, no Divas coverage?! Read the sign, jackwagon....dimes! That's where the smackaroos are at.

RIP Scott Hall eventually.

Alan Trehern said...

I think there was one Diva match, and it had people I don't remember. Jazz, is that one? Either way, I didn't consider them "dimes"...maybe "half-pence".