Friday Football Blotter - LS-Who?

You get it?! Who instead of U?!?!?! Oh man, I hate that damn joke, but not as much as I hate Nick Saban's insincere smirk and his Roll Tide nonsense. I was really hoping that LSU would be knocked off earlier, and then beat Bama at home, but now it looks like one of these teams is definitely lined up for a trip to the BCS Title game, short of any Iron Bowl mishap or someone from the SEC East pulling a fast one or that kid for Arkansas that isn't Ryan Mallett instantly getting in my Fave 5 by doing some shenanigans. Last week I suffered my first tie (Stanford winning by 8 points exactly), but that still wasn't enough to save me from Tom Brady absolutely laying a duck and Wisconsin forgetting how to win. C'mon, Badgers, you lost to a team coached by a guy named Luke Pickle, or some variation. Get it together!

Last week: 4-5-1

Season: 46-43-1

Trunks do have some structure to them, guys

(1) LSU at (2) Alabama [-5, O/U 41], 8PM EST CBS
So what happens if Bama wins by 5 this time, asshats? But seriously, "Game of the Century?" I believe Reggie Bush and Vince Young may have something to say about that one, no matter how ineligible the former was for that game. Still, I can appreciate the importance of two 8-0 SEC teams clashing, so I'll pick all three aspects of this game, something I hope gambling degenerates call a "trifecta." Outright, Nick Saban and Bama are at home and Saban is a much better coach than Les Miles, who often forgets the rules of football, how time works, and eats leaves of grass (finally glad that little nugget has been nationally aired). Miles also doesn't utilize Jordan Jefferson enough, still thinking that Jarrett Lee can win a title in spite of his spaghetti arm. To his credit, Lee has only thrown one pick this season, but I've been far too impressed with Alabama all season to think this upset is brewing, no matter how painful that is to say. In a battle of top tier teams, decent offense usually prevails, at least enough to cover 41 points, and especially if All-World LSU receiver Rueben Randle finds some space. The blocking up front from the Crimson Tide will just be too much...I'm picking Alabama, taking Alabama to cover the 5 points, and taking the over 41.

(10) South Carolina at (8) Arkansas, 7:15PM EST ESPN
Without Marcus Lattimore, SC is barely a top 25 team, and his loss really cemented the absolute power the West holds over the East now (you can't argue that 4 of the top 5 teams in the SEC are West at this moment). And even more indicative of how this this game feels one sided, Jarius Wright has supplanted Alshon Jeffery as the best all-around receiver in the conference. Arkansas wins 32-20.

(20) Arizona State at UCLA [O/U 56], 7:30PM EST Versus
Don't blink, because this hidden gem will most likely decide who represents the awful (and sometimes faintly ineligible) PAC12 South in the their title game. I think UCLA can pull the upset here, but I'm never overly optimistic with Kevin Prince tossing the pigskin in favor of clearly more talented but rough around the edges Richard Brehaut. Plus, the Bruins underrated defense usually shows up at home, no matter how seven foot tall the other QB is...I'm going under 56 here.

"Taste dominance, Sea Dragons!"

(14) Houston at UAB [O/U Case Keenum TD Passes 3.5], 7PM EST CBS Sports Network
Prop bet time! Case Keenum totaled 9 touchdown passes last week against Rice (not the foodstuff), raising his average up to 4 TD passes per game and a grand total of 32 on the season. So, the question is, does he reach his average or not against UAB, who looks good-gawd-almighty awful and only has one win on the season over something called "Central Florida." Also of note: UAB's leading passer has two, count 'em, TWO touchdown passes this season. I'm taking the OVER on 3.5 Keenum TD passes.

Note: I'm leaving K-State and OK State off the docket this week, well, because, pray for those kids in Manhattan. Their mothers shouldn't have to see what's going to happen on Saturday. Godspeed, gentlemen! ::go Wildcats!::

Packers at Chargers [O/U 51], 4:15PM EST FOX
I haven't checked yet, but if this game isn't featured all over the greater US it's a crying shame. Shaky or not, Phil Rivers is still a dynamic and fun QB to watch, and his presence with Antonio Gates, Malcolm Floyd, and to some extent Vincent Jackson should make this one a doozy. The Packers' secondary is still adapting to injuries, so expect both Rivers and Aaron Rodgers to air it out in favor of meager rush attacks. Field goals and passing TDs aplenty here...I'm going over 51.

Packers WR James Jones should have a great day

Giants at Patriots, 4:15PM EST FOX
Uggggh, this game is on the same network at the same time? Tom Brady's gonna be pissed, I'm gonna be pissed if the Pack aren't on around here, and Eli Manning is gonna get burgled in this game. Burgled is my new PC term for rape now. ::isn't too sure what "PC" means:: Patriots win 38-24.

Buccaneers at Saints, 1PM EST FOX
I don't think it matters if Mark Ingram goes, Josh Freeman is looking lost at this point. I was completely burned by this game last time around, but I'm going to go with everyone else and say it was because Sean Payton got injured and couldn't punch it in on that HB dive late in the red zone. Is LeGarrette Blount playing? I guess that doesn't matter much, either. Saints win 34-17.

49ers at Redskins [+3.5], 1PM EST FOX
Wait, is this because of that west-coast-traveling-to-east-coast-playing-1pm-games stigma? Did they see the Skins get shutout by a team who only had FOUR sacks coming in last week? Four. Sometimes, quarterbacks just fall down and that's a sack. Frank Gore and Friends should have that spread covered after ten minutes....I'm taking the Niners to cover the 3.5.

Chiefs WR Jon Baldwin should catch 6+ balls

Dolphins at Chiefs [-4], 1PM EST CBS
I was going to feature the Ravens-Steelers tilt on here but that got cut after this damned ridiculous spread. Yeah, I get it...the Dolphins are decent against the run, and somebody out there thinks Reggie Bush can match his 100-yard rushing game from last week. But still, Matt Cassel looks to have found his groove and the Chiefs defense is only allowing 16.2 PPG since week 3. Maybe, with the right situations, it will be closer, but I can't see the Chiefs winning by any less than 10. I'm taking the Chiefs to cover the 4.

All stats by CBSSports.com, all spreads by VegasInsider.com...if I did have disposable income, those last two games is where I would try to make some coin fast.